Monday, May 12, 2014

Mother's Day for NON-Mothers

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE MY MAMA! She is pretty much da bomb diggity. And, shoot, I wouldn't be here without her :) Moms have an INCREDIBLY difficult job, don't get me wrong {which reminds me of the clip we saw at church this weekend - if you haven't seen it, I'd definitely suggest watching it}.


ABC US News | ABC Entertainment News

But... I had a thought yesterday on Mother's Day.

What about all of those women who aren't moms? Whether it is because of their choice, God's will, a fallen world, etc.

Of course moms deserve TONS of praise for the jobs they do (MUCH MORE than any of us tend to give them). WE LOVE MOMS! And I hope I am not taking anything away from them or their day... But being a NON-Mother, there are a few things that tend to STING when I hear them, most of which are spoken around days like Mother's Day.

Phrases like "I never knew real love until I was a mother", "Now that I have kids my life has true meaning", "It's a mom thing, you wouldn't understand".

Obviously I know that people aren't necessarily saying these things to be insulting. And most folks who say these type of statements may truly believe them for themselves. But PLEASE take a moment and think about what you are essentially saying... Since I don't (and won't) have children, I must not know real love, have purpose in my life or have the capability to understand your life.

I believe the decision of whether or not to have children is an extremely personal one, and one that I have not and will not take lightly. Being in the minority (obviously most women have children or else the population wouldn't continue to increase), I understand that I will be asked, poked, and prodded about my choices. And for the most part I am able to let comments like that roll of my shoulders, but some days it hurts.

If you have childless women in your life, please do take an extra minute or two to think about what you are saying (and what they may be hearing). Whatever path the women in your life are on, PLEASE LOVE THEM, THANK THEM, PRAISE THEM FOR ALL THEY DO, AND GIVE THEM AN EXTRA SQUENCH OR TWO! 

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are a Mom to Walt the wiener dog!

My total comments would be longer than your blog!

DisneyBride and DisneyGroom said...

Yes to all of this. The reasons someone does not have kids can be very simple, or deeply complex. Sadly, there are many people that have little to no boundaries/shame in asking deeply personal questions and telling others how to run their lives. And yes, I can shrug it off most of the time, but sometimes the prodding questions bother me. Everyday, women are living fulfilling lives through career, hobbies, family, travel, etc. I would never want to be defined by just one label. I try to admire and appreciate individuals for all the many wonderful things they are, but the role of parent might just be one of the many. ~DB

Angie said...

I have kids, but I think I am in the minority. I love my kids, but I don't think my life is complete now that they are here. There are still many things I want for myself that my kids can't give me. One day when they are older, I hope to accomplish some of those goals.

I also don't celebrate Mother's Day or Father's Day, so again, I think I am in the minority. You have a dog that you love, feed, and protect. You are a mom to him. :)

Anonymous said...

Hey Carlee, it's Liz from the Coast to Coast FB group. I completely agree with your post. I don't have any children and also never plan to. I would like to think that I can live a perfectly wonderful live without children. In fact, my significant other and I do SO MANY awesome things together that we couldn't do together if him and I had children. Obviously different people like different things, but I too sometimes feel offended when I hear people say that things you wrote about. Great post!