Those three words seem simple enough, yet they are so hard to put into practice, at least for me.
I mentioned the other day in my Treadmill Lovin' post, one of the reasons I have changed my tune about the treadmill lately is because it helps me run a consistent pace. The flip side of that is, I don't always trust myself to run a consistent pace while pounding the pavement.
This morning I had 6 pace miles (meaning 6 miles at my goal marathon pace, which is 8:00/mile) on the calendar. I could have TOTALLY run them on the treadmill, especially with this monsoonal mugginess that is in the air (YUCK), but I wanted to push myself and see if I could do it without the assistance of having my legs FORCED to keep that pace (the "nice" thing about setting the treadmill at a specific speed is your legs MUST stick with it or you will fall and die).
I have to be honest, I went in with sort of a defeated attitude to begin with. Instead of thinking "I freakin' got this", I went in thinking "I sure hope I can pull this off". Don't get me wrong, at least I wasn't thinking "I will never be able to do this", so there's that... Baby steps, right?!
But you wanna know what? I DID FREAKIN' DO IT! Not only did I stay under my 8:00/mile pace, I actually averaged 7:35/mile for the 6 miles. Let's be real... I wanted to stop after 2 miles, I thought I would never be able to keep the pace at 4 miles, but I finished with a HUGE SMILE (and burning eyes from the sweat pouring into them) after 6 miles.
And you want to know what else? I actually wore some of the shorts I normally wear UNDER my Sparkle Athletic skirts out in public for the run... AND THE WORLD DIDN'T END! I didn't even hear people snickering about my jiggling arms or my thighs rubbing together (although maybe they were just kind enough to wait until I was out of earshot). PS A BIG thanks to my girl Dani from Weight Off My Shoulders for the push to do it (she wore a bikini in public and the earth kept spinning).
But back to the blog title, why is it so hard for me to believe in myself? Is it a subconscious way of not letting myself down? Meaning if I don't believe I can do it in the first place, I won't be disappointed or upset if I don't. Have I internalized the negatives for far too long (whether they were from specific people in my life or society as a whole) that I can't go back and change? Is it a warped sense of humility?
Whatever the reason or reasons behind it, I want to give it up! I want to stop doubting myself and I want to BELIEVE IN ME! Obviously I can't do any of the things I do without the help of God, hard work and dedication, but I also think a little self confidence may help the cause a bit as well.
But honestly, any tips, tricks or magic spells on how to get me to ACTUALLY do it?! I'm ALL EARS!