I have been thinking about this post for a while, but have been hesitatant to post it. I didn’t want anyone to think it was directed towards them or like I was calling them out. PLEASE HEAR ME, I AM NOT DIRECTING THIS TOWARD ANYONE SPECIFIC, just pondering some questions. And please do not think I am asking for thank you’s or a pat on the back – FAR FROM IT – I am just interested in the consensus of folks.
What are your thoughts on Thank You’s?
I want to start off by saying I LOVE sending notes and cards. I feel like I send out mail at least once a week. I send notes for big things (like thank you’s for a wedding gift or a Christmas gift), I send notes for little things (like thank you’s for inviting us to a Super Bowl party or for allowing us to carpool with folks), I send notes for non-things (like thank you’s for just being you and who you are in my life). I know I am on the FAR end of the spectrum – sending out notes and thank you’s possibly too frequently :). So please understand that I realize not everyone (or even a very small portion) is going to be like me.
I looked up the etiquette for writing thank you’s just for the fun of it.
It’s never wrong to send a written thank-you and people always appreciate getting “thanks” in writing.
Why? Handwritten notes are warmer and more special than other forms of thank-yous. The rule of thumb is that you should send a written note any time you receive a gift (even a ‘thank you’ gift) and the giver wasn’t there to thank in person. But notes are not always necessary. If, for example, the gift is from a close friend or relative (and it’s not a wedding gift) you can email or call instead if you prefer. Below are some other note-writing guidelines:
Even though the gift giver attended the shower in your honor and you had a chance to say thanks for her gift, you should still send a written note.
Each wedding gift should be acknowledged with a written note within three months of receipt of the gift. It’s best to write the notes as soon as possible after gifts arrive, however. Write a note even if you have thanked the giver in person.
Congratulatory gifts or cards.
Anyone who sends a present, or a card with a personally written message, should receive a note in return.
Gifts received when sick.
Thank-you notes should be written as soon as the patient feels well enough—or a friend or relative can write the notes. It’s okay to call close friends rather than write.
Condolence notes or gifts.
Everyone who has sent a personal note, flowers or a donation should get a written thank-you. A close friend or relative can write the notes on the recipient’s behalf.
Do you send thank you’s? If so, what type of occasion, in your opinion, warrants one? If you don’t send any, why not? (Please don’t think I am saying that you HAVE to, I am just wondering the thought process behind it – i.e. ‘they already know how much I appreciate them/ it’}
In the techie-world that we live in today, it is easy to send thank you’s in different forms – text message, email, Facebook post, etc. If you are in the thank-you sending camp, is this the format that you normally send your thank you’s through? Or do you prefer another method?
Obviously we no longer live in the world where Emily Post’s etiquette guidelines are running our lives (for better or worse, you can decide), but I wonder if our manners have also gone along the wayside. Like I said, I know I probably am on one side of the spectrum, but it seems like it is more few and far between than the norm [and hey, maybe I am not doing things that warrant thank you’s]. Sometimes I wonder if we are so wrapped up in our things that we don’t look around and recognize all those that play a roll in our lives. And please hear, but I am NOT saying that you should do things for the thank you’s – in fact I believe you should do things and expect ABSOLUTELY nothing in return!
Of course people know you are grateful and appreciative, don’t they??