Thursday, April 24, 2014

Sending Thank-You's

I have been thinking about this post for a while, but have been hesitatant to post it. I didn’t want anyone to think it was directed towards them or like I was calling them out. PLEASE HEAR ME, I AM NOT DIRECTING THIS TOWARD ANYONE SPECIFIC, just pondering some questions. And please do not think I am asking for thank you’s or a pat on the back – FAR FROM IT – I am just interested in the consensus of folks.

What are your thoughts on Thank You’s?

I want to start off by saying I LOVE sending notes and cards. I feel like I send out mail at least once a week. I send notes for big things (like thank you’s for a wedding gift or a Christmas gift), I send notes for little things (like thank you’s for inviting us to a Super Bowl party or for allowing us to carpool with folks), I send notes for non-things (like thank you’s for just being you and who you are in my life). I know I am on the FAR end of the spectrum – sending out notes and thank you’s possibly too frequently :). So please understand that I realize not everyone (or even a very small portion) is going to be like me.

I looked up the etiquette for writing thank you’s just for the fun of it.

It’s never wrong to send a written thank-you and people always appreciate getting “thanks” in writing.
Why? Handwritten notes are warmer and more special than other forms of thank-yous. The rule of thumb is that you should send a written note any time you receive a gift (even a ‘thank you’ gift) and the giver wasn’t there to thank in person. But notes are not always necessary. If, for example, the gift is from a close friend or relative (and it’s not a wedding gift) you can email or call instead if you prefer. Below are some other note-writing guidelines:
Shower gifts.
Even though the gift giver attended the shower in your honor and you had a chance to say thanks for her gift, you should still send a written note.
Wedding gifts.
Each wedding gift should be acknowledged with a written note within three months of receipt of the gift. It’s best to write the notes as soon as possible after gifts arrive, however. Write a note even if you have thanked the giver in person.
Congratulatory gifts or cards.
Anyone who sends a present, or a card with a personally written message, should receive a note in return.
Gifts received when sick.
Thank-you notes should be written as soon as the patient feels well enough—or a friend or relative can write the notes. It’s okay to call close friends rather than write.
Condolence notes or gifts.
Everyone who has sent a personal note, flowers or a donation should get a written thank-you. A close friend or relative can write the notes on the recipient’s behalf.

Do you send thank you’s? If so, what type of occasion, in your opinion, warrants one? If you don’t send any, why not? (Please don’t think I am saying that you HAVE to, I am just wondering the thought process behind it – i.e. ‘they already know how much I appreciate them/ it’}

In the techie-world that we live in today, it is easy to send thank you’s in different forms – text message, email, Facebook post, etc. If you are in the thank-you sending camp, is this the format that you normally send your thank you’s through?  Or do you prefer another method?

Obviously we no longer live in the world where Emily Post’s etiquette guidelines are running our lives (for better or worse, you can decide), but I wonder if our manners have also gone along the wayside. Like I said, I know I probably am on one side of the spectrum, but it seems like it is more few and far between than the norm [and hey, maybe I am not doing things that warrant thank you’s]. Sometimes I wonder if we are so wrapped up in our things that we don’t look around and recognize all those that play a roll in our lives. And please hear, but I am NOT saying that you should do things for the thank you’s – in fact I believe you should do things and expect ABSOLUTELY nothing in return!

Of course people know you are grateful and appreciative, don’t they??


Kimberley@Black Dog Runs the World said...

I'm a big one for gift thank yous and happily the hubby is now on the handwritten bandwagon as well. Ironic since I always HATED having to write them as a kid!

Sarah Scott said...

I rarely missed a written thank you note before James was born, but now i'm much more likely to send a text or an email with a picture of him using the gift, etc. i'm going to get back into the routine of it though :)

Crickettsmom said...

I try really hard to send a hand written note for gifts as soon as I receive it. My daughter never misses a beat when it comes to snail mail. She's active duty AF and weekly sends out care packages, notes just to say hello, postcards from her travels (It's getting difficult to find postcards anymore). One would be more likely to hear from her by snail mail than electronic mail. A rare trait these days! I love finding a note or postcard amongst my bills and junk mail!

Katieb said...

I do believe in the hand written "thank you". It's more personal than a text and there are so many beautiful cards out there. It truly can make someone's day when they receive snail mail and it's not junk mail or a bill. My kids both wrote, handwritten thanks as they grew up. Ex. For their communions or graduations, no gifts, mostly money of course, went into the bank or out to spend, until the cards were done. Some people were stunned to receive them. I got calls about how great they thought it was that an 18 year old guy would write a note. Of course that's with the prompting from Mom. These days, while I still write the note card - they are more likely to call personally or possibly text. I guess the important thing is they realize the value of the gift enough to acknowledge it and say thank you.

Leah Jones said...

I just finished sending mine out for my shower last month, and have already bought the ones to send out after my wedding. I think thank yous are a great thing to do. There's something special about getting handwritten mail.

Meridith said...

I'm big on thank yous too. And I remind myself to say THANK YOU in person too. After events, to anyone to has helped me, THANK YOU. I think it's pretty important and a handwritten note can go a very long way.

Heather said...

I always write thank you notes for gifts received (wedding shower, bachelorette, wedding, birthday, etc.). I feel like when someone goes through the effort/trouble of getting you something they think you'll enjoy, not only a thank you in person, but also a note, is necessary. I want people to know how much I appreciate them, their efforts, and their thoughtfulness. I have horrible hand writing, but I do love to send notes when I can. I think it's a nice touch in this technological age to actually write and mail a note rather than text or email. I love getting snail mail, so I like to think others do as well :)

I don't mind not receiving a note in the mail, but I do get a little peeved if I send a gift to someone and they don't acknowledge it at all (always makes me wonder if they received it, but I hate to ask, because then I feel like I'm fishing for a thank you).

Anyway, those are my thoughts. Your friends are lucky to have someone in their life who sends them cards 'just because' :)