Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Dealing with the Haters

I feel like a post like this will get three types of responses:

  1. "You asked for it." Folks will say that if you didn't want to hear {negative} feedback, then you shouldn't put yourself out on the InterWebs for the world to see/read. #IfYouCantTakeTheHeatGetOutOfTheKitchen
  2. "Ignore it." Folks will say to ignore the negativity, which is what I would do in a perfect world... but, shoot, let me tell you, that is much easier said than done. #HatersGonnaHate
  3. "Who do I need to fight?!" Folks (okay, maybe just my mom and dad) who have your back through thick and thin will offer to go to bat for you, no matter the situation. #RideOrDie

I want to start off by saying I am in no way writing this post to have folks feel sorry for me or to "rally the troops" for support. I just wanted to share my thoughts because in this day and age of social media it seems like often times we don't necessarily associate articles or blogs with the people who actually write them... and, darn it, we have feelings too!

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In case I haven't made this clear (or you are new around here), I started blogging in 2006 because I had moved across the country from my friends and family and thought it would be an efficient way to keep everyone informed (rather than sending individual update emails with the same information re-written over and over to everyone in my address book). If you look back at my first few years of blogging (although, I wish you wouldn't ;)), you'll see it was a lot of crap - me sharing articles I found interesting, doing silly surveys to fill my down time, posting pictures from adventures I was having, etc.

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I never got into blogging as a way to make money, build an audience, etc. And, in fact, I have not continued blogging as a way to make money, build an audience, etc. There are posts here and there that are "sponsored" (meaning I receive some sort of payment in exchange for my work), but I would say 95% of my posts are done for me (and for you). I do them as a way to remember my experience, to share my thoughts with others who may find them interesting or educational, etc. My blog is my personal online journal that anyone just happens to be able to read, but for the most part, it's just for me.

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With that said, I have received some flack recently for a post I shared. If you follow me on social media, you may know which post I am referencing. The post itself does not matter. What matters (at least in my opinion) is A. how rude some folks can be, B. how folks have a difficult time with others who have differing opinions from themselves (why can't we agree to disagree?!) and C. how folks make disagreements personal (rather than about the topic of discussion).

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I'll be honest, getting the negative feedback hurts, especially when it is all at once and much of it is personal. It would be one thing if I was expecting it (or if it was constructive criticism), but this sort of came out of left field for me. I had shared my thoughts on an experience I had that wasn't completely rainbows and sunshine and got attacked because of it.

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If you follow my blog (or know me in real life), hopefully you can tell I'm a positive person. I try to see the good in every situation and believe the best in people. If there's something less than stellar I still try to pull out the positives (and reiterate that even if I had a bad experience it doesn't mean everyone will or that a product isn't for someone else just because it wasn't my jam). [There's one exception to this, because I'm owed money from a brand for work I completed over TWO YEARS AGO and have yet to receive payment for, but other than that I'd say I always try to draw pros to accompany any cons I may be sharing.] Not everyone has the same opinions, and that's what makes community great, the differences we all bring to the table. But it's only great when those differences can be discussed respectfully.

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I am not one out to pick a fight, in fact, dissension causes me anxiety. I want everyone to get along and I never want to feel as though I am stepping on toes or making folks upset... but at the same time, I feel as though I owe folks my truth, whatever that may be. If you are willing to spend your hard earned pennies on something, whether it is a race entry, a running product, a book, etc, I want you to know what you are walking into. I would never want you to feel as though you were bamboozled or that I lied to you so I could make a buck or keep the peace. I've always gotta #KeepItReal.

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I will be the first to admit that I can have a hard time listening to other viewpoints at times (just ask my hubby, I am one stubborn lady), but I also know how much we can learn and grow from differing opinions (whether it's because we evolve our thoughts on a situation or because it reinforces how we feel). I'm in no way saying you need to agree with everything I say or even like everything I say, but I would ask that we all be courteous to one another (and if we can't be respectful, then we keep it to ourselves). Wasn't it Thumper who said "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all."?! 

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Please do not read this as me saying if you don't agree with me then shut up or get out, I truly appreciate hearing differing opinions, but if you can't discuss something civilly then I ask you click the close tab on the blog post and move on. I may not be everyone's cup of tea, and that is totally okay, but if you find that time after time you are disagreeing with the things I am sharing or feeling like you need to dispute/ argue with/ debate my thoughts and experiences, maybe this isn't the best place for you to spend your time (especially because it seems as though you feel like your time is being wasted and I'm sure you'd be much happier doing something else). I will not be hurt if you stop visiting my blog - in fact, I would actually prefer you spend your limited time somewhere you truly enjoy (I think we will both be happier in the end).

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Anyway, all of that to say, it's easy to tear down others, especially with an anonymous post written behind the safety of our keyboard, but I hope that before we hit send we truly think of the consequences and ramifications of our words. There are real people with real feelings behind the words and images you see on social media or the InterWebs. This world has so many critics already, let's not add to it. I hope we can hate less, love more and encourage one other with compassion and grace. We may not always agree, but hopefully we can agree to be kind to each other NO MATTER WHAT!

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What's your tried and true method of getting past negative criticism? 

2 comments:

  1. I thought your review was helpful and honest. Don’t let the negative criticism get you down.

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  2. I'm not sure which review you're speaking of but that doesn't matter. What does matter is that you gave your own personal opinion. I'm in shock at how people get so butthurt when your opinion isn't the same as theirs. We are not clones. We are all wired differently and that's what makes us unique. It's okay to disagree and even voice it. But being a tool about it accomplishes nothing. Keep letting your light shine, girl!

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